I finally managed to get a .5 liter bottle of water up my pussy today.  Yeahhhhh me!  I pride myself in having a tight little snatch and not putting things up in it that are too big.  However a friend of mine bet me I couldn’t get one to fit up there so I had to take the challenge.  I can tell you one thing for certain my pussy felt so stretched and full.  I have never had a cock that fat, so it was definitely a new experience.

I found this joke today and for some reason it tickled me silly…

One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says “Billy-Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?”  Billy-Bob replies “Well sheriff, it’s a long story!”  Sheriff says he isn’t in a hurry and that Billy-Bob should tell the story. Billy-Bob continues “Well sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a cuddling. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did.” “Inside the barn we started a kissing and a cuddling and things got pretty hot and heavy, well Mary-Lou said that we should go up on the hill so we did.” “Up on the hill we started a kissing and a cuddling and the Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. Well, I took off all my clothes except my gun belt and my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay on the ground and opened her legs and said “Okay Billy-Bob, go to town…”

So anyways, on to the interesting call I had the other day.  This guy calls me and wants to be my personal butt sniffer and wants me to laugh at him and humiliate him.  Ok, easy enough because of course it is pretty pathetic to want to just be a butt sniffer.  Not only does he want to sniff my butt but he wants me to spit on him and piss on him.  Again easy enough.  I am happy to oblige.  I have plenty of piss to go around.

He asks me if I will blog about him and put his name in my blog.  Of course I can, just send me an email confirming that its ok for me to put your name in my blog and I will be happy to.  NO email has arrived yet.  Soooooo my buttsniffer, your name doesn’t make it in my blog and the only reason I am blogging about it is because I know you will come back here to read YOU PATHETIC WHIMPY BUTTSNIFFING NOTHING.  Yes you are NOTHING.  Because you do not even have enough balls to send an email.  You are a big pussy!

Of course I laughed because guys say that all the time but rarely actually mean “EVERYTHING”.  He started to whimper and beg to taste more of me.  I reach down and wrap my hands around his cock and pull it hard, hard enough to make him whimper.  I tell him I want to hear exactly what it is he craves.  He screams out that he wants to taste all of my bodily fluids now.

I laugh again as I start to release a hot stream of piss right in his mouth.  He gargles with it.  Really.  He takes my piss in to his mouth as if its mouthwash and minty fresh and gargles with it.   At that exact second I start getting incredibly horny and incredibly wet.

He then reaches up and grabs a hold of my ass and starts begging me for my shit.  Now I couldnt possibly denigh him now could I?  I start squeezing it out of my brown asshole and he starts eating it like its the best meal he has ever had.

Fabulous call my shitty slut!

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