I finally managed to get a .5 liter bottle of water up my pussy today.  Yeahhhhh me!  I pride myself in having a tight little snatch and not putting things up in it that are too big.  However a friend of mine bet me I couldn’t get one to fit up there so I had to take the challenge.  I can tell you one thing for certain my pussy felt so stretched and full.  I have never had a cock that fat, so it was definitely a new experience.

I found this joke today and for some reason it tickled me silly…

One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says “Billy-Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?”  Billy-Bob replies “Well sheriff, it’s a long story!”  Sheriff says he isn’t in a hurry and that Billy-Bob should tell the story. Billy-Bob continues “Well sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a cuddling. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did.” “Inside the barn we started a kissing and a cuddling and things got pretty hot and heavy, well Mary-Lou said that we should go up on the hill so we did.” “Up on the hill we started a kissing and a cuddling and the Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. Well, I took off all my clothes except my gun belt and my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay on the ground and opened her legs and said “Okay Billy-Bob, go to town…”

So anyways, on to the interesting call I had the other day.  This guy calls me and wants to be my personal butt sniffer and wants me to laugh at him and humiliate him.  Ok, easy enough because of course it is pretty pathetic to want to just be a butt sniffer.  Not only does he want to sniff my butt but he wants me to spit on him and piss on him.  Again easy enough.  I am happy to oblige.  I have plenty of piss to go around.

He asks me if I will blog about him and put his name in my blog.  Of course I can, just send me an email confirming that its ok for me to put your name in my blog and I will be happy to.  NO email has arrived yet.  Soooooo my buttsniffer, your name doesn’t make it in my blog and the only reason I am blogging about it is because I know you will come back here to read YOU PATHETIC WHIMPY BUTTSNIFFING NOTHING.  Yes you are NOTHING.  Because you do not even have enough balls to send an email.  You are a big pussy!

We are laying in bed making out like we normally do when I tell you that I want to try something new tonight.  Of course you agree, and I make you promise that you will do absolutely every thing I say,and follow directions.

I tell you that you should get down on your knees and start licking my pussy.  You do exactly that, sucking and licking my pussy.  I tell you to eat me as if you were hungry.  Show me how lucky you are to be able to taste me.

After you suck on my pussy for a while I tell you I have a special surprise for you and to close your eyes and get up on your hands and knees.  Again you follow my instructions.  I go to the closet and I cum back a few minutes later and am right behind you and smack you on your ass.  I grab your asscheeks and smack you again, this time a bit harder.

You feel my fingertips move up the crack of your ass and then you feel something start pushing against that tight puckered asshole of yours.  You open your eyes in shock and look back at me and see me with a nice fat 9 inch strapon.  Right as you look I grab your hips and push it all the way in you.  I then inform you that you are my bitch now!  I start moving that strapon in nice and hard.

You ask me if its wrong for you to actually be enjoying this and I tell you it really doesn’t matter if you are or not because you have no choice.  You are my bitch now.  I tell you to wrap your hand around your cock and be my dirty jacker and stroke for me.  Harder and faster.  Your cum belongs to me, and I want it now!